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  • Jack is a 256th generation Joe, as they call foot soldiers inside of Pete. He and his forefathers have been battling in the 16 hours lasting war – called the big one – in sector 32 of the colon. Joes are bred to kill and blindly following orders.

  • Joes have medium offensive capacities and a medium armor. They are resistant to necrophage enemies (which can suck the life out of white blood cells and add it to their own health) and can heal other clones.

  • Jeff is fearless. That is not a coincidence but a mere result of a routine lobotomy performed to all members of the Suit squad. You see, thinking too much is not considered to be advantageous for the organisms who put their life on the line continually, as the suit squad is used as a front line defense buffer in conflicts.

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  • Suits have low offensive capacities, but they have a high armor. They can stun walking organism, thus immobilizing them temporarily.

  • Sir Richard Pumpskin the third graduated cum laude as a jet suit pilot from the imperial flight academy. Raised and trained in the wealthy lung area, Richard is picked on by his fellow troops and dubbed Richie Rich the turd. But the truth is, Richard is a fantastic Tiger. If killing is an art, Richard is a paintbrush.

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  • Tigers have a low offensive capacities and a low armor. However, they carry bombs which do very heavy damage and they can engage airborne enemies.

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  • Count Baron Kugelschreiber von Schweinepuppenfleisch has donated his entire fortune to the local paper folding society. Being free from earthly possessions there’s nothing left from him to do than enjoying his life to the fullest.

  • Broncho S. Gibson doesn’t like change. He also doesn’t like salads, MTV, yoga, Facebook and iPads.

  • Eddy is so proud of his eco friendly solar powered water purifier he runs through town to demonstrate it. Eddy doesn’t understand why not everybody is as enthusiastic as him.

  • Bob is an obnoxious prick. Unable to forge human friendships he buys companies from all over Pete’s body to fill the hole in his soul. He currently owns the appendix, coccyx, tonsils and nipples.

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